So technically single on Valentines day but still with a date I thought to myself how much does one really care about the day and why is it such a big deal. I must admit I'm really a romantic at heart, but this year is very different from last years Valentines Day. The reason not because I am single this year and not single last year, but my feelings towards it have changed and certainly matured.
Everyone says "it's just a day" or "I should be shown love everyday". But the whole routine of it all begs me to question... Why do we single or not single put ourselves through it? Is it worth it and do we really know what we are doing in terms of showing our love and affection or rather not showing it purposefully.
No matter what stage you are in some kind of relationship whether it be just started going out or being in a long term relationship we are expected to show some kind of love and affection on this one day. Which is all fine and dandy but some of us forget to realise or even consider that valentines day can either corrupt and complicate a relationship or make it stronger.
WHAT VALENTINES DOES FOR THOSE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Not until valentines day most people who are in a relationship have that awkward moment of realisation of.......... "where is this going" ? We also have to come to terms with facing the question " how much do I love this person, do I even love them or do I just love them or lust after them?
As guys we have all been there. Its Valentines Day coming up and your in the card shop and your trying to find a card that doesnt say I LOVE YOU inside it. The reason why? Because you haven't even said it to your partner yet! Its not that some guys don't like Valentines but there is a certain pressure about the whole thing. For women its especially a time where they put pressure on their relationships. This is because its the only time in the year where they sit down and really think about their feelings on their relationships and really start to examine how much affection their partner really shows them.
WHAT VALENTINES DOES FOR SINGLETONS
But for us single people. I can sit here and say ... Oh yeh Valentines just depresses us and highlights how alone we are. But to me it's the time of year where we analyse why we are single. We really should be asking ourselves .... "what are we doing to stop being single, are we really putting ourseleves out there as much as we can" ?
ST VALENTINE AND HIS GUARDS
One thing I thought about it was what the hype of valentines is doing to us as people and our relationships. Are we being as careful as we should be? No matter what stage of a realtionship your in, or even if your not in a realationship you should always have your guard up and be careful. We always forget this during Valentines. We all get so caught up and smoke gets in our eyes and we all get lovey dovey. But this does have effects on us all. It can take our relationships and develop them to the next emotional stage, or it can force our relationships and feelings into places that we are not ready for or shoul'dnt even be.
I know it sounds like i'm being scared of commitment. But that's not it. We think about LOVE far too much around valentines. But what if your not in love. What are those of us meant to do when we are still in that getting to know each other phase? Or what about those who have just started going out? For all of us in what ever stage we are in, we all force the idea of either love or progress into our relationships at the this one time of year. Relationship progression is never a bad thing. All I'm really trying to say is that we force it upon ourselves only really at one time of the year. But this can put strain on some realationships. Yes we should always ask ourselves "where is this going". But where are our guards when we need them. Sometimes thinking about things too much can ruin it. During this season of love is there really any harm in having our guards up? We are forced to open up the flood gates of love and affection at one festive season? But is this not the time where we should be being careful and try not to ruin it? If you got a good thing going , why are we forced at this time of year to question it and is questioning everything such a good idea?
The idea of love does not ruin things, but my question is are we really careful in terms of love? Can the hype can put unnecessary pressure on us in a relationship or not.
On valentines there is always pressure. But who is there to protect us? and how much protection do we really need? Should we just let love be love. Or should we examine and analyse our own relationships and not have our guards up. Are we all just getting a bit too carried away and become stupid in love? Are we all too in love with the idea of love? Who is going to protect us from forcing ourselves to think about things way too much? We all have worries about of love life and relationships, but why at valentines do we chose this to be the only time to come to terms with it and act upon it. I think asking and analysing too much buts too many unnecessary thoughts into our heads. There is nothing wrong with exposing our true feelings, but we must always pick and chose the right time and place. We forget that we may not at the end of the day hear or get what we really want back.
We forget and are scared that in the long run they may not feel the way you want them to or thought that they would about you. But also realise all this time you thought you happy, but really you weren't .
We expose ourselves and our relationship worries way too much during this festive season, and the thing about being exposed is once your out there, naked and exposed... you can't take that moment back, you've been seen and the image and the idea has been made.
And there's no one there to guard you but yourself.
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